I believe that love is truth, and our natural state. I needed a way to release all the anger and fear within me. How could I do that? By sitting and staying, with my thoughts, in gratitude. Nothing else for 10 minutes.
Over and over I simply named all the things I was grateful for.
And during the day left the television off, the radio as well. When I spoke to someone who went negative, I changed the conversation to positive, or walked away.
As an adult, I am the gatekeeper of my mind. I am responsible for what enters my thoughts, so I began to pay attention. It was like being on a diet. Fear and anger was the belly fat I was carrying with me.
I found the commercials on tv and radio were either trying to sell with fear or sex. They put forth the premise that I was not good enough.
"Ha!" I was beginning to say. Not only was I trying to stay in gratitude, but I was shifting to the mental knowing that I am good enough. And, I'm abundant.
I don't need a blonde on my arm, or a new Lexus in my garage, or a fabulous blender, to be happy. Because, I knew, happiness is not derived from possessions. It is derived from the messages I tell myself when I have those things.
But, you see, I am the one giving myself those messages. So why not give myself the messages all the time, or any time, or when I want to, with or without the possessions.
It is tremendously liberating to realize that we are in control of our happiness. We can't control the things that happen to us, but we always control how we react to them.
Try a simple experiment to show you the power that is available to you: Think about how you felt when you were with the great love of your life. Imagine holding that person again, how you smiled and laughed, how you were walking on air. Continue imagining, remembering, until you feel fantastic.
Now, understand that you do not need person to feel that way. Simply tell yourself you feel that way, that happy, that you are so wonderful that you deserve to feel that good. Play the memory if you need to. Soon your mood is elevated, and you're in the clouds. You did it. And, you can do it any time!
That was how I tried to flow love all day. The first day.
Was it easy? Heck no. I wanted to go to the junk food of woe is me, of believing that getting something or someone would better my life. It was my habit. That first day I'd be in joy and love consciously, and then shift to my old habit.
But I had made a choice, and after a short time in fear in anger, I'd set down that delicious fear, and get back to my short list of ten things I was grateful for. That was my fall back list. I went to it when I needed it. It was my bag of washed and chopped veggies I carried with me to appease the cravings.
I even went into gratitude as I lay in bed, and let that joy carry me into dreams. And the dreams were bursting with color and love.
I hoped the next would be easier.